Unfair Questions: What number of lovers is too high?

Over at the Good Men Project, a site I sometimes enjoy and sometimes facepalm at, an article was posted which purported to answer a question from a man who is unsure about whether or not he should date a woman who has had sex with 13 men previously.

The advice given by the author was incoherent nonsense, so I thought I would help by offering an actually useful response for a man in this situation.  By all means, date a woman who has had 13 lovers if you are certain that you want to be her 14th lover prior to being replaced by her 15th lover.

As a fellow man, I will point out that the number doesn’t necessarily mean much in terms of the quality of the relationship you can have with a woman.  That said, it usually does mean something very important if you want something more than temporary lover status in her life.

Specifically, it means that she has developed a habit of moving from relationship to relationship, from man to man, from feeling of intimacy to feeling of intimacy.  It’s always possible that she will kick that habit when she is with you, and if you want to bet on that, then maybe you should go for it.

If, however, you do not want to play bad odds, then it’s better not to date someone who has that habit.  While people do not always carry their baggage into the relationship, they always carry their habits into the relationship.  Do not date someone without being aware of their habits and being willing to live with them.

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